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It was a quiet summer evening. The sunset was at last surrendering to the night, and the sky was shifting from a bright rose to a dark lilac. The sun was fading to a distant memory and a pale white orb nestled into its place.

The new moon distracted Sarnassa, though it didn’t take much for her mind to wander. The wig she had on was heavy and painful, but that was the hazard of the career she chose.

“Is that real?” She was startled for a second but regained composure.

“Excuse me?” Sarnassa didn’t recognize the man before her she had assumed her disguise would be plain enough that she wouldn’t be noticed, but it seems she guessed wrong.

“The moon, it just looks so beautiful,” he said as he was staring at her.

She didn’t have any time for small talk. Her informant would be here at any moment to let her know if it was time to move.

“Sometimes beauty isn’t always what it’s meant to be,” she excused herself and moved towards the foyer. It would give her a better vantage point to scope out her target.

This night reminded her of when she was a child. She would wake up at night, past her bedtime, and take walks on the street outside. She felt the cool wind on her skin and watched the stars flicker over the houses, she believed the twinkling of the stars was a song that was being sung just for her.

That’s when she felt real, that’s when she knew she was and that she mattered, but life had a way of teaching you to forget yourself, just as the water forgets it was once ice.

She was a different person now, and that person was busy trying to find where her diamond was.

Sarnassa’s eyes darted towards the stairs and she finally saw her informant, his raven hair glistening in the moonlight. Her heart raced with excitement for both the heist and… other things.

“Did your hair suddenly grow long?” He looked confused.

“It is a lady’s prerogative to come in disguise, especially if she plans to abscond with something valuable.”

“Abscond? Someone’s trying to impress me.”

“You flatter yourself too much. Now give me what I came for.”

He leaned in and gave her a kiss.

“Marcus!” She suddenly lost all composure.

“The offer still stands.”

“When you made that offer I was an asset, not a liability.”

“When I made that offer I was in love with you,” he looked her in the eyes “And I still am.”

Her mind raced to weeks gone by when they had lived a life that she could never forget. Sarnassa remembered the sunset, the dancing orange and yellow hues that were the background for their first kiss. The locket he gave her as a token of remembrance.

Every moment since then was a series of mistakes she never wanted to take back.

Marcus leaned in and whispered in her ear, “The mark is in her purse. Seems she likes to carry around her valuables.”

He gestured to a woman behind them, “Mabeline! It’s been ages, how nice to see you again!”

And it was then Sarnassa was left alone.

She didn’t know what tonight had in store for her, but she knew that somehow, she was going to get him back for that insult.


A robed figure stood by the mansion’s doorway, the night was silent as death as it approached.
Am I in the right place?
Suddenly a loud bang ripped through the quiet.
I guess I am.


Sarnassa found herself in the dark. She tried to grasp at anything to make her feel that there was something more than the yawning emptiness surrounding her.
You should be careful.
The voice was almost like a dull whisper. It sounded like nothing Sarnassa had ever heard before. Like a thousand sad songs played together at the same time.
The dark can be very dangerous.
“Who are you?! Where are you?!” Sarnassa was punching the air. She didn’t know who this was or how she got here but there was no way she’d be going down without some sort of fight.
Try to the left sweet pea.
“What did you call me?!” She doubled her efforts and punched harder.
I said, to the left sweet pea, you might actually hit something if you aim there.

“Why are you calling me that?!”

Just then the voice shifted, it turned into the voice of a woman.

Now, is that any way to talk to your mother?

“Shut up! I don’t know who you think you are or why I can’t see you but just shut up!”

Sarnassa was desperate, she couldn’t see her enemy. She couldn’t see anything. She had no idea where she was or how she got here and her arms were starting to get heavy.

Feeling tired sweet pea?

“Who are you?!”

Ask me what you really want to ask me.

“Why do you sound like my mother?”

Better, now put your fists down, and let’s have a decent conversation, shall we?

Sarnassa let her tired arms fall at her sides and said nothing.

What do you remember?

She didn’t want to have this conversation, not with her mother’s voice. Her mind drifted to the last time she saw her mother.


The hospital bed had a strange glow with the fluorescent lights.

Sarnassa sat in the big white room, he head was down and she was trying to hold back the tears. She knew that her mother wouldn’t survive the next round of chemotherapy. She didn’t want to do this on her own, but she had no one else to lean on.

She felt like she was going crazy, but that was a lie. She knew she was. Sarnassa knew that she had to go back in the room but she felt sick. She brushed her hands against her newly growing hair. She had shaved her head to show solidarity with her mother. Her mom hated it, of course, she shouted so much that the nurses had to run into the room to see if everything was okay. She would stay outside her mother’s room, listening to the sounds of her pain, while simultaneously ignoring her own.

That was their life now. In the middle of worrying about medical bills and seeing if everything was going to be alright, her mother would always reassure her. It was an endless cycle of pain and comfort that she knew wasn’t going to last forever.

People leave you in the strangest ways.

Her mother gave birth in this same hospital, and it was here that she was going to take her last breath. Sarnassa tried to find some kind of humor in the irony, but there was none to be found. She clenches her fist to try to fake some strength and walks through the hall.

She could feel the stares of the nurses as she walked. She didn’t know what to do as they looked at her. Her mother always told her that she should smile when people are looking, that way they had to smile back.

So Sarnassa smiled. She smiled through the chemo even though she was at the breaking point of tears. She smiled through the hospital bills, even though she was already in debt. She smiled when her mother told her to call the priest for the final rites.

All she could do was smile.


What do you remember?

“I don’t want to remember anything! Just leave me alone”

Sarnassa thought she could hear her voice echo.

Not even Marcus?

“Don’t say his name! It’s his fault that I’m even here.”

Where do you think you are?

Suddenly, there was light. Not strong enough that Sarnassa could see everything, but with the right amount of brightness that she could see her hands.

Her blood-soaked hands.


The evening had settled into twilight and Sarnassa was getting impatient. The mark was still heavily guarded and there was no chance for her to get close.

She knew why Marcus chose tonight for the heist. Wedding parties always made for good distractions and there would be ample opportunities to slip to the side of the bride-to-be and take what she came for.

The only problem was there was trouble in paradise.

Apparently arranged marriages didn’t guarantee happiness, though Sarnassa could have given the unhappy couple some pointers on how to navigate through hardship.

The groom was too busy talking to every single woman who moved, and the bride kept to herself, surrounded by her bodyguards.
“Just perfect,” Sarnassa whispered to herself.

“Yes, the filigree in the architecture is just perfect.”

And there was Reginald, who would not leave her alone. Bad enough that she couldn’t get to her mark and that her wig was falling off. There was a self-absorbed oaf trying to get her attention.

Well he could have it if he wanted.

“Architecture bores me.”

“Well, maybe you haven’t given it a chance to show you what it can make you feel.”

“It just feels so pretentious.”

“That might be because your mind isn’t open to what it can offer.”

“Are we still talking about architecture?”

Sarnassa gave a wry smile and parted from her latest annoyance.

“If you’ll excuse me I have someone I need to talk to.”

“But, we’re not finished—-“

Marcus was chatting up some women he saw by the hors d’oeuvres.

“Excuse me ladies, but this gentleman owes me a dance,” Sarnassa grabbed Marcus by the arm and led him to the dance floor.

“That was a bit forward,” He gave a look.

“They weren’t worth your time anyway.”

“Feeling a bit jealous I suppose?”

Sarnassa’s heel jabbed Marcus’ foot. He stifled a shout.

“Don’t even start,” She whispered as they were dancing. “Now would you like to tell me why I still don’t have an opening to get to the mark?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that her little friends won’t leave her alone. I almost feel bad for the poor thing.”

“Feel worse for me. I’ve been avoiding this creep the whole night,” she pointed to Reginald.

“That’s my cousin.”

“Of course, it is.”

The music faded to a dull whisper as Marcus and Sarnassa danced in each other’s arms. She took this moment for what it was, an oasis. Her life was a series of misfortunes that she had to overcome and being with Marcus was, honestly, a chore.

He was the single most pompous human being Sarnassa had ever met. A bored socialite, Marcus, never liked his peers. But there was something about his deep brown eyes that made Sarnassa change her mind.

As she held his hand, she felt the warmth, and something else. She felt safe. For one of the few times in her life, she didn’t think that anything could hurt her, but that kind of feeling always ends up betraying you.

Each step felt wrong. She was a thief, she knew that she had to forget him the moment this was all over.

She didn’t want it to be over.


Marcus looked into the eyes of the woman he was dancing with. She said her name was Anissa, but he knew that was a lie. Lies were what these people were trafficked in.

“These people? Really, Marcus, you’re starting to sound like father,” The voice in his head was dripping with judgment, “What next, are you going to find a mistress?”

“Shut up,” Marcus said out loud.

“Excuse me? Sarnassa said.

“It was nothing, sorry.”

“Now Marcus, are you really going to do that to the poor girl?” The voice grew louder.

“Excuse me,” Marcus let go of Sarnassa’s hand. “I have to go to the bathroom for a bit.”

“Nice save,” The voice in his head was incessant.

Marcus didn’t know if he could go through with this. He had always hated the stuck-up snobs of high society. He was never a part of who they were because of who he was, the illegitimate son of a high-strung socialite.

He made his way to the bathroom and locked the door. Marcus stared at the mirror and saw the doubt creep across his features.

He didn’t know if he could do it.

He didn’t know if he still wanted to.

“So, what do you really want?” The voice in his head echoed.

Marcus looked in the mirror. He didn’t like what he saw in front of him. He had his mother’s eyes and they were just as full of judgment as he remembered hers.

Things weren’t supposed to be this way. Life was supposed to be a free ride for him, but he needed excitement. He needed to show that he was something more than he was.

And then he met her. Anissa, or whatever she wanted to call herself. At first, he didn’t know what to make of her offer. Stealing a diamond from an engagement party was something that other people did.

The temptation was too much for him, though right now temptation was his only friend. He stared into his eyes, the eyes of a betrayer.

In his heart he knew that he had feelings for Anissa, that much he knew, but he was scared, scared of even thinking about leaving the life that he had. The life of comfort, of money, the only life he ever knew. The only life he was good at.

The mocking visage in the mirror taunted him. It showed him the face of a coward, the face of someone who would give up something he loved just for the chance at comfort.

He punched the mirror, the shards digging into his hand. He washed the blood away, a move that reminded him of Pontius Pilate. Was this life really worth the 30 pieces of silver?

He wished that he didn’t have to do it.

But it had to be over.


“Why do I have blood on my hands!?” Sarnassa wailed.

You don’t remember?

“Remember what?!”

Memories flashed through Sarnassa’s mind. There were whispers, that she couldn’t make out. Marcus. The man in the suit. The woman with the diamond.

The gunshot.

“I was shot.”

Yes, you were.

“Did Marcus shoot me?”

No

“Please tell me what happened.”

You already know what happened.

“Please. I don’t want to remember.”

Why?

“It hurts too much.”


The mark was moving too much. She had her little friends surrounding her at all moments and Sarnassa was not amused. Usually when she did things like this there was at least some sort of fun that she could squeeze from the chase.

She had to console herself with raunchy gossip about the couple she marked. They were from one of those places where arranged marriages were still a thing.

Sarnassa didn’t have any opinion of that though, she knew that sometimes you had to do your duty, even if that meant giving up your happiness.

It was a lesson she had to learn the hard way.

The couple had only met each other earlier this week. The grapevine said that they didn’t hit it off right away. They were too incompatible.

The girl was quiet and sheltered. She had some sort of disease growing up that left her unable to leave her house on most days. Homeschooled and uninterested in the world around her, Sarnassa felt bad for the girl. She knew what it was like having to spend your life in a white room, and she wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Sarnassa had never met the boy personally, but she knew she wanted to punch him in the face. Spoiled rotten by his parents, this arranged marriage was probably the first thing he was ever forced into, and it showed. The entire night he spent hitting on every girl that had a pulse.

Sarnassa didn’t know what the future had in store for them, except for one small part. They would be missing one little wedding present that was valued at over a few million, give or take.

She could almost feel the cold diamond in between her hands, and the anticipation was getting to her. She didn’t want to make any mistakes, that’s what amateurs do, but it had already been three hours without an opening and her patience was almost gone.

Why did she even work with Marcus? He was supposed to make a distraction, and she was supposed to run off with the diamond. But things never go the way they’re supposed to, she thought to herself.

She was enjoying some Merlot when one of the bodyguards stepped beside her.

“Long night?” She wanted to make some conversation to pass the time.

“Yeah, the lady’s getting tired of hearing about her wedding.”

“Well, it is supposed to be the happiest day of her life.”

“I’ve never been much for weddings, too much to do and too many people to do it. That’s why I eloped.”

“I don’t see a ring on your finger, who’s the lucky girl?”

“My job,” The bodyguard let out a laugh.

“Same here. They always say ‘Don’t get married to your work’, but I think it’s a nice alternative to having to see the same person every day for the rest of your life.”

“What work do you do?”

“Oh, a little bit of everything.”

“Yes, I know.”

Just then the man grabbed Sarnassa by the arm and whispered in her ear. “I know why you’re here and if you don’t want anything to happen you’ll stay quiet.”

She could feel the cold steel of a gun pressed against her back, and she followed the man. This wasn’t the first time something like this happened, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last.

The man led her to the basement of the mansion, the place reeked of disuse and cobwebs. She knew that a fight was about to happen and she braced herself.

She didn’t expect to see Marcus behind the door.


As he stared at the woman he called Anissa, he knew he had made a terrible mistake.

“I found her at the party.” The bodyguard pushed the woman to the ground.

“Yes, this is her,” Marcus said. He could sense the hatred coming from her as he walked to help her up.

“Don’t touch me! What the hell is happening?” Her voice was pointed with venom.

“I’m sorry Anissa. I just can’t go through with it.”

Marcus felt his heart drop. He couldn’t even look Sarnassa in the eye.

“Like hell, you’re not! All you’ve ever said was you hated this place and its people. You were the one with the idea to take the diamond tonight.”

“Yes, so that they could make sure you wouldn’t run away. I kept you here so that they could run a background check to see who you really were Anissa, or should I say Sarnassa?”

“So that’s it then?” Sarnassa had a small pistol hidden under her dress, she didn’t know if she would be fast enough to take them both down, but she had to risk it. She had prepared a contingency plan in case something went wrong, and she hated to use it, but it was time.

“No. Now this happens,” The bodyguard pointed his gun at Sarnassa.

“Wait! This wasn’t part of the deal. You said you only wanted to catch her.” Marcus protested. Sarnassa didn’t know if it was an act.

“These were my orders.” The man in the suit took the gun and shot at Sarnassa. For a minute everything went slow. She remembered her mother and how Sarnassa knew she would never approve of this life for her daughter, but it was because of her that Sarnassa was forced into this life in the first place.

The gunshot echoed through the room and she had expected to feel some sort of pain. That was before Marcus jumped in front of her and took the bullet.

She didn’t have long to react, as she took her gun from her dress and shot back at the bodyguard. She hit him right in the middle of his eyes and he fell where he stood.

“I didn’t want it to end,” Marcus said as he coughed up blood.


“Did he die?”

Don’t you remember?

“No, I don’t! I don’t remember anything. I can barely see you and I don’t know what’s happening!”

Calm down

“Go to hell! There’s blood on my hands!”

Is there?

Sarnassa looked at her hands, the blood was gone. She was frantic, she looked around her body until she noticed that there was still blood.

And it was coming from her chest.

“It wasn’t Marcus.”

No, it wasn’t.


Marcus picked up Anissa from the floor, the blood pooling on his arms. For the first time in a long time he knew what he had to do.

He stared at her face, and he didn’t know what possessed him to even think of betraying something so beautiful.

There wasn’t much time, he knew that he had to find some kind of help. He lifted Sarnassa and brought her up the stairs to the party.

Thankfully, he knew that there were doctors there and that they would help.

He shouted in the middle of the party, effectively destroying the reputation that he had worked so hard to maintain.

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except her.

There would be questions, and inquiries. He knew they would eventually find the man in the suit with a bullet in his skull.

He knew the price he was going to pay, but as he gazed into the face of the woman he loved, the woman he didn’t even know the name of, he was at peace.

The loud ringing of the ambulance and the incessant questions of were background noise to the sound of her breaths.

The world didn’t exist, not anymore.

She was his world.


You’re finally awake

“You’re still here.”

Yes I am.

“I thought you were a hallucination.”

What makes you think I’m not?

Sarnassa finally had a chance to see the face of the woman she had been talking to in the darkness. It didn’t surprise her to see that it was like she was looking in a mirror.

Do you forgive him?


My Dear Anissa,

There isn’t much room for me to write. I’m putting this letter in your locket so that you know how truly sorry I am.

And how much I love you.

I know there isn’t anything I can do to take back what I did.

I wish things would have ended differently, I wish I was the one that was shot, but making sure you’re never alone is the one thing I know I can do for you.

I’m outside your room, waiting, and I won’t leave until I know you’re okay.

Whatever you want to do after that is up to you.


You didn’t answer my question.

“I don’t know if I can.”

He betrayed you.

“Yes.”

You hate him.

“Yes.”

You love him.

“Yes.”

Do you forgive him?

“…..”

Sarnassa looked at the locket in her hands. She didn’t want to be in this position. She didn’t even want to be in this room. Her mind should have been racing through all the possibilities.

But all she could think about was dancing with Marcus and how safe she felt holding his hand.